Another day in the Life of a Bibliomaniac February 24 2016
No one ever said my job was boring.
But boring? Definitely not.
And so it happened that as I was enthusiastically showing a customer some books in our shop he remarked on my rather large earlobes.
Well actually huge earlobes.
I am a piercer's dream
I could have loads of earrings and still have room for more.
But I digress.
And so our conversation continued.
He spoke of how big earlobes indicate certain attributes.
One of which was a love of food.
You see he said pointing at my XXL figure
I bet you like food.
Well I tend to think that it my be my rather buxom figure that leads people to believe this.
But guess what!
It is not !
It is my earlobes!
And then there was the time that a Chinese tourist was wandering through our shop and stopped to admire ... not the books but our rather dishy staff member who he pronounced "Very handsome"
That not weird enough ?
Today I was invited to a retirement home to view a library of books from a recently deceased resident
The books were plentiful and had been put into the main hall of the home.
I really timed this one wrong.
I arrived and started to look through boxes and boxes of books.
People wandered in.
I carried on giving the odd smile and nod to the people streaming in.
It was only when the memorial service started I realized that I was busy looking at the star of the show's most personal belongings.
Believe me I learn a lot by looking at someone's library.
What you read reveals so much about your personality.
By looking at your books I feel like I am looking into your soul.
Next time you see me nodding sagely as I examine your bookshelves you will know what I am up to.
Thus looking at a recently deceased estate while their memorial was going on was besides being a bit ghoulish was rather awkward as well.
And then there was the time I was showing a very enthusiastic customer our fiction shelves. He let out a scream .
I was facing away from the shelves and thought he had seen an insect or even worse a mouse. This is Africa after all.
We have the ugliest insects ever. (Anyone encountered a Parktown Prawn?)
I jumped and screamed “Where is it? Where is it?”
He leaned over.
At which point I was in severe shock and hyperventilating.
"Here" he said waving Kashuo Ishiguro's 'The Remains Of the Day' in my face.
"Not that" I yelled ... "The insect"
“What insect ?” he yelled back and then started laughing hysterically when he realized what had happened.
All the time other customers patiently paid for the books and ignored the pandemonium.
Maybe they were being polite.
Or maybe they are used to the chaos that surrounds us.
Or maybe they were ogling the very handsome staff member or checking out his earlobes